I'm currently staring at my computer screen wondering what to wright … I did have a subject that I wanted to speak on and have started to wright it but I've decided to save that for a later date. So its back to the drawing board....on a side note I'm actually dying from allergies... is anyone on else struggling with this ???? Casue it fucking sucks !!! I've literally tried everything but nothing seems to work … :(
So I finally figured out what to write about .. ME...lol! I thought I kinda give a little mini life up-date and whats been going on behind the scenes so to speak cause so much has changed and happened in these past few months. First things first Tim is finally home !!! Which means I'm back intown as well, I've kinda been everywhere but here in the past 2 months, I spent some time in Marmora with Tim and then I headed to Kamloops to visit my family and then came back to Vancouver to get everything ready for Jack and Jacinta's arrival and then Tim and I headed away on a mini road trip to the Oregon Coast! Oh and yes we did get married somewhere in that time line as well....lol and yes photos will eventually go up!!
I decided to take sometime off work to regroup and kinda figure out few things. I'm not sure if I want to continue with my current work profession so I'm just trying to figure out what's next, I guess... which is a daunting task for me cause I've always know what's next or what I've wanted and for some strange reason I'm just not so sure anymore. I spent my 20s so assured with who I was and what I was doing and then I turned 30 and all of a sudden I have no fucking clue and its driving me mental! Its like I woke up one day and decided that I didn't want to do this anymore this isn't a life I want for myself and Tim long term. For those of you who don't know I work in the Fashion Retail business and was a District Manger with Various companies some good and some not so good and its just taken a lot out of me, I was working 60-70 hour work weeks, I hadn't been home for Christmas/birthdays/holidays in 10 years.... I've actually worked 48 hours straight ...trust me that's not a lie, I even stayed working while my mom was in the hospital with cancer and shortly passed a way and then went back to work a week later... I would be so tired from over working myself that I would actually start to fall asleep while having a conversation... I could go on and on about what I've done and given up to "Better my Career" but I think you get the point. I've given up so much of my life to work that I'm finally like I don't want to keep doing this... and if I have to give that much of myself to something I want to make sure that its something I love doing!
"make sure the juice is worth the squeeze"
Is anyone else in this boat right now ??? cause I feel alone ....lol.. not completely alone cause I have Tim and he's been super understanding and supportive of me taking some time to figure things out, but that doesn't stop all these thoughts from popping into my head of what I should be doing or wondering if people are judging me for not working (cause I've always worked) its so easy to get side tracked or and just say to myself that I'm being ridicules and that I should just go back to work …. and ask myself questions like what are you doing with your life... ? And then I think about everything I've done and how much I've worked and given up for work and l'm like you know what, its okay to take a minute and figure out what you want or what's next cause life's to short to do something you don't love and live the lifestyle you were living.
Yes I do know that I'm super fortunate to be able to take time off work and figure this out cause not everyone gets too and I will figure it out and will be working again whether that be on my own venture or with a company that values my skillset and voice because I do love to work! But for now I'm enjoying getting to know myself again, like figuring out what's important to me and reassessing my goals and what I like doing, while trying new hobbies, blogging, going for walks, reading books all that kinda stuff, doing things that make me happy instead of things that are materialist based!
Phots By: Tim White
Boots: Zara, Jacket: Vintage, Top: Topshop (similar linked below), Leggings: Aritzia