Confidence and Body Image
Body Image I think is something we all struggle with, we have good days and bad days. With everything on blast now adays its hard not to compare yourself with the likes of everyone you see online and throughout your daily interaction.
For me this has always been constant struggle, its something that I've always battelled internally with myself from a very young age due to constant bullying throughout primary and high school and it was constant. I thank the lucky stars that social media wasn't what it is today back then, I think it would have been a lot harder to deal with!
I was watching the movie I Feel Pretty the other day which is what kind of inspired this post. Honestly its amazing what you can accomplish when you have confidents, which is what this movie kinda highlights, among other things. Which led me to think what would our life's be like if we have never had to suffer the side effects of bullying and being ostracized about but things you didn't even know were "issues" from things like, weight, certain facial features, body parts, and it doesn't even have to be about your physical appearance, sometimes its your smarts people call you stupid , or maybe its your voice or your style, or its the zip code you live in, now a days everyone has an opinion on whats right and wrong from your physical appearance, to your food choices, to the way you walk and talk and the clothes you wear !
Some people are thinking, ya its really shitty to be bullied and made fun for the above mentioned but I bet if you stopped and thought about it you've done the exact same thing that made you feel like shit and question things about yourself from the way look, talk and walk to someone else ….. we are all guilty of it including myself. Usually we bully cause we are self's are insure about certain things so we seek out people who we think are a worse off or even people we think are better then ourselves and seek to find something wrong and say hurtful things about them and make comparisons like jeeze I thought I was big, or aren't you glad you don't live there, or I thought I was bad but she/he is way worse. This helps us feel better about ourselves it helps us validate our self-worth and lets us think for a small second that those insecurities and body issues we carry around with us everyday don't exist !
Interesting how we go from a 10 in our confidents to a 0 in a matter of minuets... The other day I left my house feeling awesome and amazing, I was ahead of schedule with some work obligations and I was feeling my hair and make-up, my out-fit was on point and the sun was shinning, basically everything was on track for a great day. Then I arrived at the shop and I start doing the rounds and found a bunch of stuff that I loved and I go to try it on and literally nothing fits …. everything was too small (and no I did not grab the wrong size) and as I continued to go through item after item I got more and more frustrated and defeated with myself, by the end of my try on session all I wanted to do was go home and hide...lol.
I left the shop and wanted to cry … as I was walking down the street I was trying to work out every possible reason as to why nothing fit me, like maybe the sizing's off or maybe the items were missed labeled or maybe it was cause they had no stretch … all of these reasons seemed logical in my time of despair. At that point I decided to make a much needed stop at Starbucks and grabed a coffee. As I'm standing in line I'm replaying all the food I've been eating in my head thinking okay I've been healthy … I don't eat bread or grains and I don't eat past 6pm and I switched to light beer like WFT why does nothing fit me! Then I start comparing myself to people in the Starbucks line … like she so thin...if only, and on to the next person and thinking we're the same size and she seams happy, what's wrong with my why do I feel like this.
Then it dawned on me ... like dude you haven't been to gym in like a month and you really haven't been that healthy... like remember the other night you smashed 2 bags of popcorn before bed and didn't you just go out for wings and beer … lol. I decide that my own insecurities about my body were self-inflicted and that if I was unhappy about it I should make a change and that life isn't that bad and I shouldn't hate on people cause they are smaller or bigger then me or have a nicer car or a designer bag and so on. We are all beautiful and special in your own way. So stop having a pity party and get your shit together sometimes you just need to strike on life's to short to put limitations on yourself cause of the way you look or don't look or have and don't have !
I'm not saying your not allowed to be unhappy with something quite the contrary, if you are unhappy with something then make a change but don't let in hinder your life and allow it to effect your day to day functions, we can be our own worst enemy at times. Instead of running and hiding and comparing yourself to other people or making fun of them cause your threatened give them a compliment or admire their achievements , like your really great at this, or cute outfit, or you have beautiful hair, celebrating people successes allows us to learn and be a better person inside and out because those people that you think have everything or look amazing also have something that their insecure about, we need to spend more time lifting each other up instead breaking eachother down.
Photos By: Tim White
Jeans Zara, Kimono: Vintage, Shoes: Asos (similar linked below), Crop Top: Asos (similar linked below)